Just Like That, No Safety Net

Yesterday, I resisted storming out of my job. I'm 5 months' pregnant, and have been working a full time cleaning job at a local (and fairly big) gym. I've had to change my routine to accomodate my growing belly, and that has apparantly left quite a few people unhappy. Instead of being able to vacuum/sweep and mop all the floors, clean all the mirrors and windows, wash down all 150+ machines head to toe, dust or wipe off surfaces, put equipment away and general tidy up, fill up the sterilizer bottles and paper towel and toilet paper, and use my spare time to do some once-monthly heavy cleaning jobs all in the space of 5 days at 6 hours a day, I've had to start alternating jobs.

Some jobs, like looking after the floors and doing a end-of-day spot check and fill up, get done every day. The cardio machines get wiped down every week, because they get DISGUSTING. Other than that, I have had to slow down considerably, start taking the breaks I am entitled to, and basically do all the glass one week and wipe down the weights machines and spin bikes the next week, etc etc.

My boss has been pretty understanding, I have to say. He's not bothered by my switch in tactics. I started off, according to many people who go to that gym, being the best cleaner that place has ever had. The problem is with the gym members who don't know me, or what is going on with me, and some of the other staff (all the 20-something men, go figure). It's gotten to where I can't seem to please anybody anymore. I can't even bend down without feeling the urge to either throw up or gasp for air, and bending over is included in half my tasks.

Enter, the Staff Communication Book.

This is where information and complaints (the operative word here) are passed on from staff to staff, or from members to staff. Apparantly, I don't get many complaints from members in person, but they are passing it along to the front desk staff, who are writing it to me in the book. This has become more and more common. Needless to say, it usually sours my day to hear how much I am falling behind according to the members. Nobody has said anything to me directly, mind you... that would be too considerate.

Yesterday, I started off the day in a fairly good mood, actually. Then, I read the book. In it, 3 staff members had taken 2 full notebook-sized pages to not only tell me what the members complained to them about, but also criticise my ability, and tell me that what I did was nothing special and that they could do it themselves (and probably do it better, according to them). This is of course without considering that they aren't doing my job while basically having a 15-pound medicine ball wedged between their skin and organs, and having to work with a pelvis that has separated early. And, I've kept doing all my work as best I can without complaining, and even keeping a smile on my face all the while.

I'd been working there for almost a year and a half, with mostly praise until I got to the point where I had to start accomodating my pregnancy. People still expect me to be able to work at the break-neck speed I used to, without taking a break in 6 hours. In the last 2 months, I've gone home and cried more often than I can count. I've had heart palpitations because of it, which start as soon as I get to work and stop when I leave for the day.

Yesterday was the last straw. So, on one of my breaks, I sobbingly called my prenatal doctor. He insisted that I go off on stress/ medical leave that is to lead into maternity leave.

So, now I have no safety net. I guess that's the universe's way of giving me the time I needed to get all my other plans into motion. Yeah, I think I will look at it that way- that silver lining is aweful bright.

“The only way to find the limits of the possible is by going beyond them to the impossible.” ~Arthur C. Clarke ...

Ask and ye shall receive...

A few weeks ago, as my partner was driving himself and our little girl to my work to pick me up and go shopping, he got into a car accident.  It was technically his fault, though he did what any parent would do.  It seems our little one let out one of her patented blood-curdling shrieks for no apparant reason.  My man, quite naturally, turned around to see if she was hurt.  Seeing that she wasn't, he turned back around and promptly ran into the rear of the car ahead of him, that had stopped suddenly. That car, in turn, ran into the one in front of it.

Now, any parent would have done that, I think.  But,  him running into the car in front was his fault because it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been following too close to it. Everyone was ok. Everyone at the scene was also very nice and understanding; no fights ensued. My partner was shaken up, but my little girl was back to her usual bubbly self within minutes.

The cop attending the scene deemed the damage to our old car to be in excess of $1000, even considering that it was strictly cosmetic: the grille was smashed in, the front bumper was damaged, one of the headlights was smashed, and there was a dent in the right side panel that makes opening the hood difficult.  This is on top of the driver's side mirror having been smashed off by vandals months' earlier, which inturn caused the window to not work right. And the car leaks oil from something that happened to it a year or so ago.

It's still driveable, though.  During the day anyway, because one of the headlights is skewed (still working, but crooked). Our choice, however, was: fork over the money for repairs, or buy another beater car.

Anyway, a good friend of ours heard what happened, and knows we can't really afford to do either of those options, so he has given us his old car! Sure, it's been around the block a bit.  It's the same year as our car (oldsmobile though, not chevy), has the same engine, it's intact, and doesn't leak oil.  The only thing needed is a new glass for the passenger side mirror, and a tune-up, which is much less than repairs or purchasing another beater!

Yay! 

Memory Lane...

From 2005 to 2008, my mother and I ran a housekeeping service- called 'Out Damn Spot!'- in Ottawa, Ontario.  In the last year of my working with my mother, we developed a Friday night ritual: finish our work, collect my stepfather from his work, eat dinner at my mother's place (or out), and then the two of us would make our way back across town to a scrapbooking workshop that was run out of the basement of one of my mother's friends.  We'd often stay until 10 or 11 o'clock at night, since neither of us worked on the weekend.

I say it was a scrapbooking workshop, but people were generally allowed to bring whatever project they were working on, no matter what kind of craft it was. The only difference was, you could buy things from this lady's store if you were genuinely doing scrapbooking.

I brought my beads and wires, since I am not a scrapbooker (my mother, though, is an awesome scrapbooker and cardmaker!).

On one such friday evening, I didn't bring everything I intended to bring.  I'd loaded into my tote a selection of beads, my favourite copper wire, a pair of wire cutters, and a pair of needle-nosed pliers.  I forgot my bead crimping tools, flat pliers, memory wire, fishing line, nylon thread, not to mention the actual crimping beads I usually use to finish off a piece when I am making a normal necklace or bracelet.

So, what to do, what to do?

I decided to do what I think I do best.... creative problem solving, which- for me- normally leads to figuring out how to do a new technique.

I had spools of 24G copper wire.  Since I was new to wire wrapping, I really didn't know what guage was best to work with. I reasoned that it was best to start with a finer grade of wire, so that I had some margin for error.

I started by making a sort of spine for a necklace out of a bunch of 5 strands of wire. I cut the loops on one end, to prevent uneven buckling in the wires whilst I was working. I shaped the other end into a hook, tied a bead onto the tip, and then wrapped the hook tightly with a single layer of wire. Once I was finished making the hook, I set the wires aside, and rummaged through my bead collection for a variety that was vibrantly coloured and with enough stock to satisfy the clustering idea I had in mind.

I chose ruby red glass daimond shaped beads, lawn green diamond shaped beads, chocolate brown rondelles, and ruby red and forest green silver-lined seed beads.

First, I tied on the larger beads in an asymmetrical 'pattern' down the length of the spine.  Once I got to the end of the necklace, I took the last two inches of wire bundle and formed (but didn't wrap) the loop part of the closure. Next, I went back to the hook end of the necklace, and neatly tied on another strand of wire, being careful to tuck away and discreetly cement down the end of the wire (hidden in one of the bigger beads) before proceeding to tie on the seed beads so that they looked tightly clustered together with the larger beads. This took multiple strands of wire to complete the layer, and the ends and beginnings of each wire were carefully hidden and cemented in place.

I tied the last bead within half an inch of the loop end, but continued using the wire strand I was already working with to wrap the loop.  I was careful not to close the loop until I had wrapped it all- this prevented the wire from buckling within the loop closure. Once I had wrapped the entire loop, I then wrapped both ends of the loop together to form a complete closure, carefully hiding and tightly cementing the end.  The whole thing is approximately 15 inches long, and is meant to just sit on the collarbone.

Happy with the result, I went on to make matching earrings. The only difference was I antiqued copper loop-headed pins and findings (as I couldn't find polished copper pins and findings. The earrings bear french hook ear wires, and dangle about an inch and a half in length.

I am pretty sure I spilled more seed beads on the floor than I actually managed to get onto the necklace and earrings! Every so often, we could hear the distinct "tick, tick, tick" of beads falling onto a wood laminate floor.  Pretty soon, the lady running the workshop started making me sweep up after myself. ;)

The whole set took maybe 3 hours of continuous work, and here are the results:

I was VERY happy with the result of my adventuring, and have gone on to use the same basic technique in another similar type of necklace, and a ladies' ring. The necklace below is made with plum-tinted copper wire (again, 24G), orange glass oval beads, quartz gem chips of varying sizes, and amethyst gem chips of varying sizes.  Again, it's about 15 inches in length, and is meant to sit lightly on the collarbone.

The ring was made to fit a size 5 to 7 finger.  It features two jade spheres, clustered with light blue and red bi-coloured seed beads and foil lined dichroic green seed beads. I've wrapped the ring part once, and then added another layer to form a spiral threading (still very comfortable to wear!). It gives the appearance of having the beads loosely tied on, but they are quite secure!



I love experimenting with new design ideas, multiple types of beading media, and without necessarily having a firm idea of what the end result should look like. I like it when a project evolves as I go along. That being said, I can certainly commit myself to a certain design idea, depending on what a prospective client may want!

All three of the above pieces (and others) may be found here, and are definately for sale. 

The Right Options

I was sitting outside my work today, waiting for my ride and pondering what to blog about when I saw a young mother with a baby who could not have been more than two months old.  She was standing at the bus stop near the front door of my work place, and when her baby cried to be fed, she whipped out a bottle and popped it into the baby's mouth.  I don't think she realised (in fact I hope she didn't!) that another mom with a baby, nearby, was giving her dirty looks as she nursed her own child the old fashioned way. 

There are many reasons a woman would choose to bottle feed her child.  Not all that long ago bottle feeding, whether it's formula or express breast milk, would have been considered the norm.  Now, it's almost as though a woman who chooses to bottle feed her baby is regarded with disdain despite the possible reasons behind it. 

I am one such woman.

Breast feeding is definately the most natural way to go about looking after your offspring. There is no doubt that it is the healthiest thing you can do for the both of you.  There are facts that back my claim up. What people often fail to consider, though, is that there may be any number of possible obstacles that can get in the way of feeding the baby the natural way. There can be physical reasons, psychological reasons, or even practical reasons to choose bottle-feeding over breast-feeding.

Here are two of the physical reasons for choosing to bottle-feed:

The mother could develop severe milk fever. While this is normally only a very mild rise in the mother's temperature, that begins at the onset of lactation and usually lasts a few hours, continued high temperatures (above 100.4 F) may indicate that there is an infection present.  In severe cases, the doctor looking after mother and baby will usually give the mother a prescription to dry up the milk supply.

The baby may not latch onto the nipple properly, or may clamp down painfully. Either of these can result in frustration for both the baby and the mother, and may hurt the mother considerably. Some women are not prepared to "soldier through" this discomfort, to see whether or not the baby's habits change. 

Here are two of the psychological reasons for choosing to bottle-feeding:

The nursing experience may be psychologically frightening to the mother.  How is that possible, you may ask?  Two ways, at least.  When the baby is very young, it's necessary to keep your fingers around your nipple so that the flesh of your breast does not suffocate your little one.  If the mother suffers from postpartum depression, she may have unwanted images of accidentally suffocating her child by the very act of feeding it. Even if the mother is not actually suffocating her child, the image can be so strong and so pervasive that she can't block it out of her mind. 

Another way that nursing can be an uncomfortable psychological experience for the mother comes when the mother concerned has had some kind of physical or mental/emotional abuse in her past.  This abuse can change anybody's natural views concerning their body and their very character. In a nursing mom, it can lead to feelings of unworthiness, emptiness (feeling like just a milking cow instead of a mom), hurt, etc. The act of nursing your child can bring forth, with great energy, your personal insecurities.  It has a way of putting them front and centre, where you cannot get away from them.  Not only that, but having these feelings in the first place can sometimes chip away at whatever bond the mother may have with her child, until they begin to associate the act of nursing with emotional pain and fear.

I can only think of one practical reason, but I am sure that there are more than one:

The mother may not be in a secure enough financial position to take her full maternity leave time. Having to work, even an at-home job, can mean that the mother simply is not available to breastfeed her child.  So, she may make the effort to express milk for bottling (but that still means she would have to pump at least every 2 hours to keep her milk supply up), but formula feeding is the more likely result.  Even if she expresses her milk regularly, she still may not produce enough since expressing doesn't empty the milk as effectively as nursing does.  With this reason, simply put, time availability may be the central issue.

My point in all this rambling is this: the choice of feeding style has to be made with BOTH the welfare of the mom and the baby in mind. Nursing may indeed be what is best for the child, and there is plenty of evidence that it is generally good for mom too, but it may not be what is best for the mom in question.  She is not a milking cow, and should not be looked at with disdain because she chose bottles over breasts. That's just my opinion, mind you. Chances are, however, that it was hard enough for her to make the choice in the first place.  Chances are, also, that her self-confidence is pretty low at that point.... and sometimes one has to do what is best for establishing a proper parent-child bond.

A mother who bottle-feeds is not worth less than a breast-feeding parent, though many people seem to treat them as such.  Although I agree that breast-feeding is the best option, it is not the only option and it is certainly not the only right option. 

The right option is the one that allows the mother to bond to her child.

A Tourist in My Own Hometown

One of my favourite things to do is grab a camera on a nice day, and walk around downtown, taking shots of whatever strikes my fancy. Somehow, looking through the lens of a camera makes you notice things you might not have otherwise taken the time to look at.  Little pieces of art, little structural details, the contrast of different flowers next to each other.

Below is a set of photos taken of the architecture around the downtown core of Victoria, taken in black and white with a Fuji S7000.



Although I cannot, for the life of me, remember which pictures belong to which building, the majority of the above photos are taken local cathedrals simply because I love the architecture traditionally found on cathedrals.

I do remember, though, that it was a beautifully sunny day when I took these, and my partner and I had at one point gone to one of the markets in Chinatown and bought ourselves some fresh fruit to snack on. In among the bag of fruit, there were two dragon plums.  If you don't know what these are, they are probably the biggest plums you'll ever see, being about the size of the average closed fist.  They were juicy too- a little tart and a little sweet at the same time. Given that they came from Chinatown, they were dirt cheap too.  If you buy produce there, you can buy almost a whole shopping bag of fruits and vegetables for maybe $10!

Anyway, fresh (and cheap!) fruit that is impossibly huge is definately best eaten on a clear sunny day, when one is simply wandering and enjoying the town they live in.

I Wonder....

I have to say, first off, that I love my workplace and who I work with. 

The gym I work at is a great place to indulge in the fine art of people watching.  More to the point, it's a great place to watch otherwise smart people do stupid things. 

No, I don't mean exercising.

What I mean is.... well, I'll give you an example.

We have automated paper towel dispensers, that are powered by batteries.  One of the two in the women's change room hasn't been functioning for about 2 weeks.  I put a clearly-legible black-and-white note in the centre of the front face of the machine that says: "Out of order. Dead batteries." It could not be any more plain than that. It's there for all to see!

There is even a roll of paper towel sitting loosely on the counter beside it.

This afternoon, I was wiping down the counters in the women's change room at the end of my shift.  I watched a woman approach the afflicted paper towel dispenser and wave her hands in front of the sensor a few times.  She paused, looked around the machine for (I'm assuming) some kind of feed button, but apparantly did not see the glaring sign that was in front of her at eye level.

Then (this is the great bit), she turns to me and says: "Miss, the paper towel dispenser isn't working."

It was a few seconds before I felt I could respond without either laughing or staring at her in awe. "The batteries are dead.  There's a note on the machine, and some paper towel on the counter."

Some incidents, like the above, are one-off events. Some are getting redundant, because I see them every day that I work.

Here's another example.

I start my day by vacuuming/sweeping all the floors.  I finish this up by sweeping up and then tidying the aerobics room in the downstairs area.  Since I don't have a photo, I'll the paint the picture.

You go down the stairs, and a big hardwood-floored space opens up before you, with a wall of mirrors on the side you enter on, and a wall of windows (including a balance bar) on the opposite side.  Off to the right corner is a little recessed area where extra balance balls, mats, steps and risers, a punching bag, and a big garbage bin. There is also an emergency exit that is clearly labelled in two places as such.

At the left corner of the room is a carpeted area, where the spin bikes are kept stacked against the wall until they are used in class.  There is also a bathroom off to one side and another emergency exit opposite it. Again, the exit is clearly labelled.  Multiple times, in fact: there is a glaring red exit sign suspended from the ceiling, the words "Emergency exit, alarm will sound when opened" on the glass of the door itself.  There is also a paper sign on the door saying the same thing, and a sign on the wall next to the door that says "This is an emergency exit. In the event of an emergency, this door needs to remain free of obstacles." Heck, I printed that last sign myself.

Couldn't be clearer, or so I thought.

Yet, day after day I have to pull the spin bikes away from where they have been left blocking the door. If there were an emergency that blocked off the other exit points, like a fire or a quake with falling debris, people would be prevented from getting out that way.

It makes you wonder.

It's like those silly warnings you see on product labels.  Someone, somewhere, had to have done the thing the packages warn you about. Probably repeatedly. People are, after all.....people.

The Next on the List for Revamping

So far, I've picked one more jewellery set for redesigning.  I actually like the way it looks, more or less, but there is an inherant flaw in the design of the necklace part of this set.  The flaw is.... the necklace looks fine when it's laid out flat, but when it is on an actual neck, the strands bunch up so close together that you lose sight of the actual way it is meant to look:

It's made with lozenge-style turquoise beads, swarovski crystal links/spacers, sterling silver chain and fastenings (including the earring wires), and blue glass seed beads. I probably could fix it, and keep the style pretty much the way it is with some minor tweaking, but I have something a little different in mind for it.

Oh, there's a funny story about this set.  When I first made it a few years ago (as indicated by my first post, I took a long hiatus from crafting), I posted it for sale on Craigslist.  I can't remember what I was asking for the set, but I was shortly emailed from some fellow who offered me $25 MORE than what I wanted, so that I would be inclined to ship the set to them.  We bickered about the payment method.  I wanted cash or money order, he wanted to send it to me via Paypal or Western Union.  Eventually I got annoyed with his pestering, and settled on Western Union despite my misgivings (it is easy to scam this way).

Then, he did his best to convince me to send the set BEFORE he paid me...telling me that he was concerned that I might take his payment and not give him the goods. 

Yeah, right.

Eventually, I got him to "send me the money" via Western Union before I sent the product. I got the confirmation email, supposedly.  When I asked him what the answer to the security question was, he never got back to me. 

Good thing I'm not a fool with my products.  Next time, I will definately pay more attention to my gut feeling!

Just a note to everybody out there.... 1/ never ship without confirmation of payment first, and 2/ Paypal is fine, but don't use Western Union for e-commerce.  It's too easily forged. God knows how many nitwits fall for that scam.